36 1/2 Weeks

Here I am, at the end of November, still pregnant and going strong at 36 1/2 weeks.  We found out we're having a baby girl, despite my knowing that it was a boy.  I was wrong wrong.  We couldn't be happier that another baby girl will come into our lives. 

It's been a long pregnancy filled with progesterone shots, urine tests, blood tests, ultrasounds and lots of cervical and muscular aches and pains.  It's hard to believe we're so close to the end and we've had no major issues to date.  My cerclage gets removed this Friday, which I'm terrified about.  I have had a significant amount of discomfort in that area throughout the entire pregnancy so I worry the removal will be very painful.  After it's out, it's sit and wait.  We could have a baby next week or we could have one more towards late December.  We'll see.  I think it might be sooner than later. She's a big girl.  We'll find out on Friday how big she is, but two weeks ago she was  6lbs, 4oz.  I would imagine by now she's well into 7lbs. 

I'm nervous about the labor and delivery.  My husband keeps reminding me that I've done it all before, but it was different then.  Avery was so small and the entire thing was horribly traumatic and awful.  I just hope that this is a more positive and supportive experience than last.  Last time the nurse only came in AFTER I had delivered her.  She didn't check on me much.  I actually had to ask her what I should do and how I'd know when to push. She was no help at all and I'm pissed about the lack of care we received that night. Now, I hope for more hands on support from the nursing staff.  I think we were discarded last time because we all knew Avery wasn't going to survive, so they kind of forgot about me.  How horrific that was. Praying for a different experience.

So, the nursery is all set.  We have a dresser full of jammies and soft clothes.  We're so ready for this sweet baby girl to come into our lives.  I still have a lot of fears because I know anything can happen between NOW and holding her safely in my arms.  I just want to make it, and I try to believe that we will. My husband has been a saint throughout this entire thing; taking on so many extra chores and tasks and putting up with my mood swings, unexpected crying and my obsessive worry.  An amazing man, indeed.

Fingers crossed.