Cowards Can't Hold Their Head High

I didn't say anything when I should have because I was a coward. And as more time passed, I felt ashamed of my silence. I feel ashamed. And now I don't know how to reach out to you for two reasons... because of the way I (didn't) handle things and because of the conversation that would ensue if we spoke. So I sit in my silence; the kind that gnaws at me and makes my tummy ache when I think about it. And I wonder if a part of you hates me now. I'm sorry I was a coward. I'm sorry for my silence. I'm sorry.

Friday at 1PM

I'm totally mentally spent. I don't think I'll do much more at work today past 2:30, or so. There are people whom I work with that take pieces of me all day long, all week long, so that by Friday there's nothing left of me. No patience, no laughter, no ambition... nothing left to give or offer. I used to think that I was socially inept, but I've come to understand that I only have so much to give of myself and then I shut down. I have always had friends, and the ones that have stuck around know that I give and give until I can give no more and then I must retreat to recharge... thank GOD they've accepted that of me and continue to love me. So, at work, by Friday at 1PM, I have given all I can to these people who often exhaust me to the point of anger and now I must retreat. Happy Friday.