Nearly A Year Later

It's been nearly a year since we lost our daughter.  It'll be a year on December 27th, and we are not even one step closer in being pregnant again. The last 10 months have brought an onslought of one fertility issue after another.  What was so close and within our grasp is gone and we can't seem to get back there.  I can't go into the details at this time of what we're facing.  But all I want to say is this...  my husband is so sad today, feeling like everyone around him is moving forward with their lives and families and we are stuck in reverse.  He is anxious that we will never have again what we came so close to having before. When he's this way I feel so guilty... even more guilty than I normally feel.  The fertility problems are all MY problems.  There's nothing wrong with him so his pain, his anguish, his anxiety and sadness is caused by me.  We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary and today, right now, I wish he would leave me to find a woman who could give him what he so deserves.  He shouldn't stay with me.  He should put himself through this any longer.  He deserves better than this... than me.