Constant

I wish I was tremendously beautiful... classically beautiful. Like Lauren Bacall; flawless and feminine. Some people get it all and some get nothing. I suppose I'm somewhere in the middle on that scale... perhaps a little closer to nothing than all. But anyway, I very often wonder what it's like to have things just a little bit easier and to have people treat you just a little bit nicer just by giving them a coy smile or batting some long eyelashes. It's a fact that beautiful people have better paying jobs and more opportunity. We live in a society that judges books by their covers... judges a person's value and worth by the exterior. People my whole life have been telling me that I'm too hard on myself and that I should love myself for who I am and for what I look like, no matter what. And I always say, "yeah yeah, I know... it could be worse". But, I have always and forever will wish that it would have been a bit better. That I could have been better.